Couples Corner: the feeling called "Jealousy"

this is the way I confront my hubby when I'm jealous...lol! just kidding...my bro took this shot and commented that the 2nd shot looks like I'm confronting my hubby and that I look like one jealous wife...LOL! (look at the way I cling to my hubby...afraid of losing him!?!)

Many people feel jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you.

I've read somewhere that Jealousy is not the same thing as love. Sometimes, people think that by feeling jealous about someone, they are loving them. Jealousy is not love; it’s the fear and anger of losing love. Jealousy disappears when you are truly loving yourself and others for whatever experience you’re having.

In our case, most of our misunderstandings aren’t because of jealousy. Mostly, it’s just a matter of opinion – he likes it and I don’t like…not really that I’m totally disagreeing with him..it’s mostly pretending that I disagree with him so that we’ll have a “lively” discussion…lol! You see, my hubby is a kind of person who could make everything run smoothly especially in our relationship but I want some “challenges”…lol! For me, a relationship without misunderstandings and fights (should I say “made-up fights”…he..he…) will be boring sometimes and you couldn’t test the depth and breadth of the love of your spouse without those challenges. It’s also nice to have misunderstandings sometimes coz you couldn’t resist the charm of kiss and make-up that will happen afterwards…LOL! (I miss these topics guyz...*big grin*...)

I’m not a typical “jealous” person nor is he it’s because we trust each other and we believe that each of us is an apple of each others eyes…he..he…I even allowed him to attend a birthday party of his ex-girlfriend where he was invited. In our relationship before as boyfriend-girlfriend, I could “breath” and I do have my “space”. I am free to talk and mingle with my male co-workers without fear that my boyfriend will be mad. As a college instructor before, it can’t be avoided that your students will be attracted to you (if you’re attractive..lol!) and will send some love messages, I am not afraid to show them to my BF and informed him on what’s going on in the campus. On the other hand I would confess that before I wanted also to experience what it is to be jealous and I also wanted to see how would he react when he’s jealous…ha..ha…Well, this happens when I’m already here in Thailand and he’s in Philippines in year 2006.

It’s my first time to be acquainted with FRIENDSTER at that time and I received lots of messages from strangers (mostly from the west) . In their version, they've found my profile attractive and wanted to pursue friendship and blah..blah...blahh...Without much thinking, I replied to one of them with just a simple message thanking him for that sweet comment. My bad...it made my J so angry and furious with jealousy. Both of us has access to each of our friendster's account and he read that response! It's hard to reason out when you're just chatting online. It took few days before he calm down. I kept on cursing myself for being such an idiot at that time.

I also got jealous with him when I'm already far from him. I'm filled with doubts and "what ifs" especially when some friends texted me that they saw J with a girl. But I didn't judge him right away that he's already finding another girl. I didn't confront him about this during our online chats.He's the one who inform me that "this" day or "that" day he's with Ms. so-and-so because of "this" and "that" and I believe him because he has a valid reason and he didn't forget to inform me. I just keep my mind open for his reasons instead of letting the spirit of jealousy overrides me before I'll talk to him.

With my experience about "Jealousy", it only arises when you're threatened that you're losing the one that you love. I could be jealous when he spent more time with his orchids or with his Sudden Attack online game than spending time with me...he..he..

How about you? Share some of your "Jealousy" Moments at Couples' Corner.